Wow…..how long has it been since I’ve written anything…months, a year?? I guess I could look back and see when but that’s extra steps I’m too lazy to do right now. This last year has been ridiculous in so many ways. This post will be about the experience that has caused the most havoc in my life. I’ll write about other things later.

Back in April I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. I went in for the constant pulsatile ringing in my ears and came out with that. The PTC has nothing to do with the ringing in my ears but a CT scan to check on the ears revealed a suspicious mass of stuff on my thyroid. I wasn’t prepared when I went in for what I thought was an appointment to go over the results of the CT and saw multiple vials and biopsy needles laid out. Doc explained what was going on and said I can wait to do a biopsy if I wanted but he’s ready just in case and thought it a good idea to get the biopsy done. I thought, well I’m here, might as well do it and see what the biopsy reveals. The 12 pokes with the needles into my throat/thyroid weren’t that bad. I was expecting that part to really suck but with lidocaine, it wasn’t too bad. The results were back in a week and poof, you have thyroid cancer. WTF. Doc strongly recommended full thyroidectomy (removal of entire entire thyroid vs. side the cancerous cells were on). He also advised to not get on Dr. Google and to ask him questions and use the links to info he provided. So what do I do? I immediately get on Dr. Google and am a little relieved to see the majority of sites say it’s the “good cancer” if you have to get cancer. It’s highly treatable. After going through it, I can assure it’s not a “good cancer” there is no such thing and it’s not super awesome to deal with. Dr. Google also had sites that indicated it can awful. My doc was right, stay off Dr. Google as there is so much info out there and each case can be different.

So, I learned that thyroid cancer likes to come back regardless if you have a thyroid or not but the chances are a lot less if you have it removed. I opted to have the full thyroidectomy to decrease the chance of reoccurring. In prepping for survey and what happens after, I read all the info my doc provided. I learned a lot more about what the thyroid does (it basically helps run your entire body) in one way or another. The biggest thing is it controls your hormones which in turns controls (or not) your emotions among other things. You’ll also be on hormone meds the rest of your life. Swell. I read a lot and thought I had a good understanding of what would be happening.

A couple months after the surgery I did radioactive iodine (RAI) treatment which helps eradicate any remaining cancer cells. My dose was fairly high at 151. Prior to taking the dose you have to do a low iodine diet so the iodine has a better chance of killing the bad cells, if any. Doing the diet wasn’t as bad as I expected. When you do the RAI treatment you have to stay away from any other living being, people or animal. In my case I had to “isolate” for 4 days. While isolating you can be outside but must stay at least 4 feet from anyone else. The RAI is in pill form and you have to go to the nuclear medicine area of clinic/hospital to take it. It comes in a lead lined container and the staff handles it with gloves, etc. I was a little anxious about how it would make me feel but I felt ok, a little swoony and nauseous but not too bad. I’m lucky that my mom has a place nearby that isn’t used all the time and I could isolate there and be comfortable. Mom had come a few days before and stuffed the fridge and cupboards with all my favorite things. The day after I took the dose I slept quite a bit but felt good enough to go for a 3 mile walk and managed to not pass anyone. By the 3rd day I was getting restless and bored. I love a good murder show but I could only watch so much Forensic Files and Cold Justice.

A couple weeks after the dose you get a body scan to see where the RAI went in the body and to see if there was any other places it hit upon, etc. I was clean after that scan and was now on the schedule of a throat ultra sound every 3 months. The second ultra sound showed a suspicious spot in my throat where my thyroid was so they did another follow up in 3 months and it revealed the spot has grown. Since this stuff likes to return they are no doing another biopsy next week. If it proves to be cancerous, another surgery is warranted. Fingers crossed it’s just a clump of not bad cells.

The ongoing effects of being on hormone meds isn’t really fun. They are keeping me quite suppressed for awhile to help keep it from coming back (if it hasn’t already) and side effects are ridiculous. The biggest side effect is weight gain. I was already chunky and this has added almost 25 pounds in 6 months. I’m back to watching everything I eat, etc but the weight keeps coming. This side effect will remain until my doses can be lowered and I have no idea how long that will be. I am looking into some treatments for help with the weight but it’s a little scary when you read about the side effects. I know the weight gain has really effected my self esteem. I’m embarrassed to see people I haven’t seen in awhile and to be in public. People are very judgy and it really drives home the thought of you really don’t know what people are going through so please try not to judge. Unless they are just stupid, then judge away. The other side effects of the hormone meds is awesome hot flashes, very high and low mood swings. I’ve experienced the lowest lows I ever have and it’s not fun, it’s scary. I worry for my poor husband but so far he’s handling my tantrums an mood swings in stride. We can out mood swing each other sometimes.

I’ve also read about people who go through this and have no issues while others have a lot more issues than I do. I do know this crap is ridiculous and unpleasant.

Cheers to a clean biopsy next week! Take care of yourselves people, listen to your body and your mind. Be proactive in your well being, physically and mentally.

Wow. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I last posted. I have no idea why but I think it’s because there’s so many tabs open in my brain all the time that I couldn’t pick a topic and trying to write out what goes on in my brain would take several graphs and pages. The way the world is right now has my brain going on turbo boost and there’s too many topics so I’ll start with one.

Boody. Boody is Zippa’s (who’s written about in the previous post) sister so I shouldn’t be surprised by the following.

If you’ve read my prior posts you know I have a mare I call Boody (registered name Imajetalena) who I love like all my others but she holds a special place in my heart and Scott loves her as much as I do. I think Boody actually likes him more than me, she’ll do anything for him. So after getting Oakie healed up from her injuries and starting to ride her again all went along smooth for a few weeks, it’s always just a few weeks at a time. It’s finally summer time and we’re getting to ride and enjoy ourselves. Fourth of July weekend I noticed Boody had some nasty swelling on her chest that was not normal and swelling almost in front of my eyes. I knew this was abnormal so I called a friend of ours who is a vet. She came right away and indicated it looks like a classic case of pigeon fever. I agreed it did look like that but I just didn’t think it was. She took samples and until we knew otherwise we would treat as if it was pigeon fever. It took over a week to get the result back due to the tests coming back as contaminated with bacteria. Took more samples and sent off. In the meantime Boody is in isolation and being treated as if she’s contagious which is a pain to deal with but you do what you gotta do. The swelling kept growing so two drain holes were put in her chest. If you see a pic of pigeon fever you’ll see the holes and puss, etc oozing out. We could barely get any fluid out of the drain holes and in the meantime Boody’s legs kept swelling. Her temp and appetite stayed steady but she was getting depressed and her legs were swelling so badly the skin was splitting and oozing which is very painful. Finally we get test results, it’s not pigeon fever but a bacterial infection. So, she’s not contagious which is a relief but we’re getting pretty worried about how bad she is swelling. Normal treatments for swelling are not helping much and she could barely bend her legs. The official diagnosis was lymphangitis. Since it was a bacteria that’s severe (and found in the ground everywhere), the chances of survival are 50/50. At this point and after almost two weeks of wondering and worrying about what’s going on, I had to shed some tears, right into Boody’s neck. I felt so bad for her. For reasons I don’t know, if the swelling had gone into her 4th leg (it had just gone into 3 legs so far) her chances decreased significantly. Also turns out the antibiotic needed to treat this particular bacteria has it’s risks which are a 50/50 chance she’ll die within a few minutes of administration or it would help. That was not a decision I wanted to make. So, more worry, tears and stress. In a few more days big tough Boody started getting better. The swelling was decreasing and her eyes were getting brighter and she was moving more. She eventually came completely out of it but it took several weeks. This is the same mare that suffered significant ligament injuries that stopped her show career. She’ll never be totally sound again but she is rideable. This mare would still go out and try to lay down a reining pattern and run a cow down the fence even if her legs fell off. She is the absolute toughest horse I have ever seen. More heart than brains. A lot like my old dog Elly Mae.

Boody bounced back from that and was used quite a bit later in the summer as a turn back horse in the cutting pen and went on several trail rides. She’s still doing fine and there really is no description for her other that’s “just Boody”.

This was a condition I’d never heard of in 40 years of having horses in my life. Leave it to one of my animals to come down with some rare ailment. So, remember to hug your animals because we really never know when they could be gone.

I’ve attached some pics of swelling. Happy trails.

The last few weeks life has been a bit of a shit show.  (I also thought I’d try to write a post without swearing but saying crap show just doesn’t cut it).  The last few weeks I’ve experienced highs, lows, love, laughs, stress, sadness, disappointment, a bit of despair and also a few moments of joy and peace.  The peace and joy moments are fast and fleeting but I’ve been trying to acknowledge and appreciate them.

Last month we were at the World Championship Appaloosa Show and my husband and his little horse did well and we learned a lot.  We spent time with friends, made new friends, talked to some legends in the horse world.  We spent time with my dad and stepmom who helped a ton during the show.  We enjoyed some fun days exploring a couple Texas towns.  We made a 4500 mile road trip with horses with no flat tires, no breakdowns. If you’ve read the first post in this blog you’ll know road trips aren’t always awesome for us so for us to return home with some nice trophies and 2 new horses (see prior post saying goodbye to Lotta) was a relief.  That relief was short lived and I wonder why I ever think life will go smoothly for more than 3 weeks at a time.

Three days after I got home I flew out of town to help a close family member who came down with a rare but sometimes fatal illness (recovery is expected).  This was a strange and stressful situation, dealing with doctors, trying to answer questions, trying to get answers to questions, trying to understand what the hell was going on with the patient, insurance, doctors, etc. Seeing someone you’ve always known as strong and healthy be weak and at times incoherent was extremely sad, exhausting and scary at the same time.  On the second day of my being out town my husband calls me in the morning to tell me that someone had ran through our fence and his horse was loose in the neighborhood.  Unbeknownst to me at the time the horse was accounted for but I went into a panic thinking the horse was loose somewhere and living next to thousands of acres of BLM land meant the horse could be gone for who knows how long.  Luckily the horse was close and by the grace of something he wasn’t  hit or hurt.  Later that afternoon I get another call from my husband saying my new mare Oakie had been caught in the fence and is badly injured.  I choked up as I asked if she was savable.  He stated he believed so but he was on way to vet with her.  At that point I went out front of the hospital and bawled.  I have such high hopes for this mare and was growing to love her in the few days I had had her.  Then a little later I was sent pictures of her injuries and I cried some more. I felt awful for my husband who was dealing with all the animals at home and Oakie all by himself along with working extra due to being gone.   I also received word another family member was in  hospital not feeling well (another recovery expected) but that night it felt like I had the world on my shoulders.  I know that’s dramatic and there’s people dealing with much worse things but at that moment I felt like I just couldn’t handle it.  But having no choice I did handle it.  Maybe not well, but I handled it.  We were getting some little bits of positive news at the hospital and the vets said Oakie will make a full recovery but it will take a few months and the care and bandaging with be going on for several weeks.  I flew home after a few more days.

The fence Oakie got caught in was the fence my husband I had literally talked about two days before about wanting to replace and until it was replaced we were going to start rotating Oakie and my husbands horse in and out of his horses normal pasture (the one that someone ran into) as it’s built with all horse safe fencing.  We were going to start doing that the next day.  When Oakie got hurt I had to wonder just why this stuff happens to us.  Why can’t life ever seriously just go along without any major stress events for more than a few weeks at a time?  I feel tremendous guilt over Oakie.  This is a super nice mare who was entrusted to me to care for and this happens just a few days after we get home.  I’m super stressed out because the vet bill is high and will get higher and I’m now going through my closet selling clothes, boots and whatever I can think of to help offset costs.  I had to cancel our upcoming bucket list trip of going to the National Finals Rodeo in Vegas in December.  There’s no way we can afford to go now and Oakie will need daily care and wounds redressed every few days for several more weeks.

However, I can’t stay in a oh woe is me mindset.  One, it’s not fair to people who are facing a lot harder issues and two, it’s just not right.  My brain is always in full pin ball mode but the last couple weeks it’s been in quadruple score pin ball mode.  I have managed to notice something good in all this.  There is still good humans in the world.  On our road trip we encountered nothing but nice people (except maybe the snotty gal wouldn’t let the horse trailer over on the highway).  While at the hospital and the town we were in, we experienced nothing but kindness and compassion.  Even travelling home and the flight being delayed, people stayed nice and adult like even when frustrated.  I had my great mom and my great friends and (you know who you are)  all texting me, offering to help with the  vet bill, offering a shoulder, offering to go help Scott with the horses, offering just themselves to me and I can’t express how much I appreciated and needed you.

So, in a world full of a holes and stress I got to receive a lesson in how I have some really awesome people in my life and there’s still really awesome humans out there.  The cliche’ stands; If you can be anything, be kind.

Many of you know I have horses, too many horses and I love them all.

As long as I can remember I’ve wanted to show at a high level and do well.  In 2012 I almost made that dream come true.  I made it to the world show with my mare Boody.  At the show Boody sustained a career ending injury.  It was so disappointing.  After returning home and licking my wounds from that for a couple years, I decided I would breed Boody to try for my next high level show horse.  I had Boody’s mom and her grandmom so my history with this line is long.  I wanted so badly to keep this line going.  So, we picked a great stallion to breed to.  Boody took on the first try with cooled semen and I was now becoming excited for the upcoming foal.  I had come up with the best name ever, Gettin Boody in Gay Bar (a combo of Boody and the sires names).  At 6 months into her gestation Boody aborted the foal, a colt.  Cue extreme disappointment again.  We tried two more years to get Boody back in foal but it wasn’t meant to be and I had to quit throwing money into something that wasn’t going to work.  Boody was telling me she just wasn’t supposed to be a mom.  The owner of the stallion was phenomenal to work with and went above and beyond to help us get Boody in foal.  A side note, the most important part of this is that Boody is trail sound and I can still ride and enjoy her and she has a home until she dies.

So, I started to think about buying a prospect for my next show horse hopeful.  I looked at horses for months.  Foals, weanlings, two year olds, etc.  wanting something we could finish out ourselves just because I wanted to have a hand in training of obtaining my goal of going to the world show once again.  I picked a mare in Texas who has the same sire that I was trying to breed Boody to.  This mare (Lotta) was a 2 year old in a futurity  program that just wasn’t meant for her.  I bought her knowing she was a little scared and would need some time to relax.  I planned on trail riding her for a year or so and leaving the stress of arena work and hard regimented training behind for a bit.  She took to trail riding immediately and became my go to trail horse who packed me over some pretty rough terrain happily and willingly.  I loved her small but solid size (Boody isn’t considered small).  A year or so later I decided it was time to start training again.  She would go along great for a few weeks and then the baggage of the wrong start for her brain would come roaring back and she would get so scared and hard to deal with.  A good friend of mine started calling her Lotta Go Go  as she would get so jacked up when scared.  I had her at the vet regularly to make sure any issues stemming from discomfort were addressed.  She would make great strides and then one day the fear would return ten fold.  However, on the trail she always remained solid.  She would have some scared moments on the trail but they passed quickly if I gave her a few minutes to settle and realize the world wasn’t crashing down on her.  But, my desire was to compete and after 4 years I had to come to hard realization that Lotta wasn’t going to be that horse for me.  I hate hate hate giving up on a horse and if I wanted a trail horse only, I wouldn’t entertain a thought of getting rid of her.  She’s a cute as can be, just as sweet and we’ve grown attached to each other.  Since my pocket book is shallow I had some hard choices to make if I wanted to keep chasing the dream of competing.  I have Boody and her older sister who I will keep til they die so I already have two horses I can trail ride and feed, I don’t need a third.  I’d think about selling Lotta but my fears of what kind of home she would go to would stop me.  Can the people who got her handle a light and sensitive horse and handle her properly?  If not, what would happen to Lotta?  The thought of  her in the wrong hands just plain upsets me.

After a particularly rough attempt at a local show several months ago I was beyond frustrated.  I had always kept in touch with the breeder and she knew of the issues Lotta was having.  Totally unexpected the breeder offered to trade me for a proven show mare she had.  Actually, this was the mare I originally wanted who was a yearling when I was in Texas looking at Lotta.  At the time this mare was not for sale.  I was floored by this more than generous offer.  This is a breeder who wants her clients happy with the horses they purchase (in fact, we’ve now purchased two more from her for my husband).  At first I was a bit defensive and thought of all of the good things about Lotta and it would be hard to see her go away.  I asked about what would happen to Lotta and was assured she would become the breeders trail horse and would be well taken care of and loved.  That was the most important thing in making my decision.

So, next week we leave to Texas to take Lotta back and pick up my new mare and my husbands new weanling.  I am excited to meet and get to know my new mare, Oakie.  However, I will shed a few tears when I tell Lotta Go Go goodbye.

So I say goodbye to Lotta who taught me more horsemanship lessons than I ever wanted to learn.  You have a good life ahead going down the trail as you love to do.

I’m going to vent a bit here.  After reading my SIL’s post  (thehorsetrainerswife.com check it out).  As the wife of a Certified Journeyman Farrier and Tester who’s working on obtaining his therapeutic endorsement (TE) from the American Farriers Association, it made me think of some of the other ridiculousness of being in the horse industry.

First I will say that I love horses, they are our lifestyle and our livelihood (I also work 3 days a week in an office). I usually like the majority of horse people we deal with but now and then the shit they say is mind boggling and for fear of saying what I hope my face isn’t conveying, I just stare at them.

There is a lot more involved with having horses than the farrier but the farrier should be considered an integral part of the team in the overall care of  horses, along with the owner, vet, any caregiver of the horse, etc.  While we are blessed to have several clients who understand the value of an educated farrier, I still hear so many comments that my husbands prices are crazy and how does he think he can charge that.   Well, I’d like to share why he thinks he can and does charge the prices he does.  I’m the first to say his prices are high when all you look at is price.

Here is a few things that you’re paying for for a farrier of his level:

• The years and  years and years of education and the constant seeking of knowledge to hone his craft.  Clinics, certifications, education materials, etc are not cheap and are not funded by any employer like a lot people who work for companies that pay for training.
• The ability to forge custom shoes on the spot at the horse based on needs of the horse
• The ability to look at and read an x-ray and understand what needs to be done
• The ability to look at the confirmation of the horse and how it affects the hooves
• The ability to know the nutrition the horse receives based on it’s hooves
• The ability to look at environment, discipline, age, breed and owner of the horse and build and/or apply shoes accordingly
• The ability to feel the slightest change in skin, position, tenseness, attitude of the horse all while being bent over
• The ability to read the horses above mentioned changes and know when to set a foot down, when to hold on, how to put his body in the safest position possible, when to do acrobatics to get in a position for the comfort of a horse that may be sore, arthritic, or scared
• The ability to teach the owners the proper way to “hold” the horse for the farrier.  THIS IS HUGE PEEVE OF MINE, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT look at your phone, let your horse wander, move its head around,  eat, etc while you’re there “holding” the horse.  You need to know where and how to be for the safety of the farrier.  Unless instructed otherwise to get out of the way, YOU NEED TO BE “PRESENT”.  His life and our livelihood depend on it
• The ability work with vets, several who call on him for his expertise in therapeutic cases
• The knowledge of horses anatomy, naming all the tendons, ligaments, muscles and where they are and what they do and how to shoe for such injuries
• The amount spent on supplies and tools is well beyond what most horse owners would even guess
• The numerous competitions we go and watch on our own time so he can see his clients and their horses in action to determine if there’s anything else he can do to contribute to the betterment of the horse.  We also go to cheer the clients on as it does feel good to see your clients do well no matter their discipline

That’s A LOT of ability that you’re paying for.  I also want to touch on the time spent while not shoeing horses that he’s working in the forge, studying, talk/text/emailing with clients, missing dinner because a client or vet called with questions, spending evenings looking at x-rays trying to come up with the best course of action for a horse.  Getting up and being in the forge at 5 am to build a few pair of bar shoes for the horses he has on the books that week that may need them.  The calls, texts he receives at all hours. That’s part of the business but it’s a part most horse owners don’t think about, this is time that is NOT PAID for.  There is also  the neighbors who he’s helping for cost of supplies only so the young girl can keep her sore horse going.   There is constant laundry of filthy, stinky clothes for me.  There is the days he comes home so sore and exhausted he can hardly move.  There are days his back seizes up and he literally crawls to bed.

I hear so many comments about how it must be nice to make that much money.  Huh, I’ll let you know when the money starts rolling in.  With the exception of his shoeing van we drive 20 and 22 year old pickups and do most of our hauling with a 30 year old stock trailer.  On top of the insane amount spent on supplies, there’s health insurance to pay and retirement to save for.  There is no employer provided health insurance or retirement.  There’s no paid time off, no sick pay.  His body is breaking down after 22 years of doing this trade.  We’ve even had clients complain when we inform them we will be on vacation or out of town attending a farrier clinic or certification or family event and will be unavailable.  Had a lady actually get all upset and yelled “just what am I supposed to do if I need you”.  WTH lady, get damn grip.

I almost lose my shit when I hear some buckle bunny go on about price or whine because he’s booked 3 weeks out and she has a barrel race or whatever competition in two days but she’s forgotten a year ago or six months ago her poor horse wasn’t able to be ridden because it’s feet were a wreck or it was diagnosed with some ailment and now,  between the vet and farrier (or sometimes just the farrier) the horse is back in action.

Do people whine about price, ask for multiple patient discounts when they go to the doctor?  Don’t you want an a doctor with an education or would people prefer a doctor with just on the job training?  Do people want an experience and skilled mechanic working on their car, a plumber or electrician that’s not education and skilled?  Do they question the prices at the grocery store and whine when they check out that because they have other bills the store should give them a discount?

Now that I’ve ranted a bit I need to also explain some other things in the life as a farrier and a farriers wife.  There is clients and horses that for whatever reason we don’t get along with and we have zero problem with clients finding a different farrier that may work better for them, we even recommend farriers if we feel it’s better for all involved..  There are a few times when no matter how good a farrier you are, mistakes are made.  We are human and working on living beings means things don’t always go as smooth as you want them to.

We take great satisfaction, sometimes to the point of my and some clients tears when a sore or broken horse is moving well again.  There is immense pride when you have clients winning world championships, winning 50 and 100 mile endurance races, or camping and trail riding and their horses do well in part thanks to his abilities.  I cry when a client loses a horse because I know and understand the heartache.

We accept all this as part of the trade but it’d sure be nice to have some horse owners understand and recognize that.  I must say, we do have some clients that do understand and value us immensely.

I also am fully aware of needing to stay within a budget and my husbands prices are more than some people can afford.  I also have limits of what I can spend but if something is worth it to me, I’ll pay the price for it and sacrifice in another area.   I shop with coupons, I take cans back for the deposit money.  I would love to drive a newer pickup, I would love to take trips to tropical places, I would love to do a lot of things and go a lot of places.  My love for my horses and my desire to compete, trail ride in new places, etc override the desire for the other things.  A lot of our “vacations” are worked around a farrier clinic, event, conventions, etc.

Now go enjoy your horses or whatever your passion may be.  And please, consider the time and education the people who help in your passion have put in to be able to help you.  Every job takes skill, the better the skill the better the job, pay and satisfaction.

I’ll just get this out there.  I hate January. Bad stuff always happens in January and I’ve come to dread it wondering what expensive and frustrating dilemma we’ll face each January.

Starting in 2015 is when I noticed January really kind of sucks.  Following is a list of the stupid that has happened in January.

January 2015  – We had just bought our place and moved in in November of 2014 so I was still part of the crowd that thought “yay, a new year full of promise”.  My mare Boody was pregnant with what was supposed to be the last horse of my show career.  Boody had suffered career ending injuries in 2012 at the Appaloosa World Championship Show and I’d been really disappointed for her and me.  In 2014 I’d decided to breed Boody in the hopes for my next show and all around horse.   All went smoothly and Boody was confirmed in foal in June of 2014.  I was so excited.  I have had Boody her entire life, I had her mom and her grandma.  Skip to January, we’re getting all settled into the new place and I’m happy for the future.  That morning we discovered Boody had aborted the fetus at 6 months along.  It was so sad.  What was going to my attempt at a world title and the excitement, fun and promise of a new foal was gone.  I won’t go into the rest of the long story but suffice it to say that many thousand dollars and 3 years later we realized Boody is just not meant to have a foal.  I’m still dealing with the disappointment of what could have been with that baby but that won’t get me anywhere.  Picked up those pieces and moved along.

January 2016 – We dealt with a stupid expensive plumbing/water/well issue.  When you live in a rural area and are on a well things don’t always go smoothly.  I’ll just say after a week with no running water and a few thousand dollars later, we had water.  I’m starting to think January is a big jokester.

January 2017 –  In the middle of one the snowiest winters in decades under 3 feet of snow and temps of below zero our shop burned down.  Again, we live in a rural area so fire response is a small volunteer department.  While the fire department was excited for a “real” structure fire I was fairly upset.  We had to scramble to save our tractor and my husbands work van that is our livelihood.  Luckily there were no injuries and we saved the two biggest pieces of equipment that make our lives much easier.  However, we lost a lot of irreplaceable stuff with sentimental value that is just gone.  We were lucky that we some insurance and were able to rebuild a much a better shop.  Dealing with a fire and all the water the fire department used in minus zero weather made for quite the messy ice rink and made clean up a real pain.  Again, no injuries human or animal wise so I’ll count it as lucky but still it was a very stressful start to the year and again I’m thinking January just sucks.

Here’s a pic of the shop on fire.

January 2018 –  Ok I think let’s see what this January can provide us.  Low and behold another water problem in freezing temps!  This time we discover rats and mice have gotten into our cistern and it needs drained, cleaned, sanitized, etc on top of having to find and repair another clog in a water line.  Of course we had a real plumber out to help find the clog but they swore it was frozen pipes when we knew it wasn’t.  After a $500 bill to useless plumbers we got to cut up our deck and dig down to the waterlines underground and fix the clog ourselves.  Yay us.

While none of these things are devastating in the scheme of life, they sure are frustrating.  With January fast approaching I wonder what will go wrong to cause us to file bankruptcy or something.

I’ll be grateful for the new year in February.  I hope everyone has a safe,  happy holiday season,  and a prosperous, healthy new year.

This is a long post, mostly rambling my thoughts out in no real order and I don’t know why I can’t get the line spacing to change on the last half!

Something I don’t talk about much is my head trip issues.  I’m one of the millions who deal with depression, lack of confidence, etc.  Most of the time I deal with it ok and some days I feel like I’m running in quicksand against a gale force wind.  While I know my life is soooooo much better than a lot of others I seem to dwell on the ones whose life mine doesn’t appear as good as.  The old cliché of count your blessings runs through my mind on the hard days and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  No matter how we try, those of us with head trip issues have no control over what will trip our emotions that day.

So…recently I decided to really work on remembering that cliché and try to focus on the good and not dwell on the not so good and try to be grateful for what and who I do have in my life.  I have a few really really good friends who will be on my side no matter what stupid thing I do or say (and I’ve had some doozies).  I have a husband who tolerates my mood swings, emotional freak outs and odd inappropriate  humor with nothing but love and attempt at understanding.  I have family who loves me and thinks I’m awesome most of the time.  I have my animals I love so dearly and I have opportunities to ride my horses, travel some (taking my dogs and horses  with me a lot of the time).  I have other good things but these are the biggest to me.

Also recently I decided to buy a new colt.  Do I need a new colt?  No.  Can I afford one? Not really.  I saw him in an ad.  I wasn’t even looking for a horse, I have plenty.  I was struck by him and kept thinking of him. I don’t even usually like colts or geldings, I’m a die-hard mare person.  So, I went about finding ways to justify getting him.  There’s a lot of boring back story to chasing my horse dreams that would take another 14 posts to explain so I’m not going to go into that now.  I sent the sellers a message asking price of colt.  They didn’t respond for a week and I was a little relieved and also a little bummed.  They did respond with a price that is a great deal as they are dispersing their herd and want to get the horses sold.  I showed my husband and some friends and asked opinions.  I went through all the reasons of why not.  Then I started looking for signs as to why.  I wanted a big glaring flashing neon sign telling me what to do.  I’ve never been so stressed out about buying anything, even the house.  My husband supported my decision no matter what I decided and he was almost as excited about the colt as I was.  So the signs I was looking for were right in front of me and they are: